Ah, envy! That mischievous companion. In the draft version of the not yet publicized standard work ‘Don’t read this if you are working on a book on envy. You will be jealous’, an expert in envyology close to the envious explains the roots, varieties and therapies of this virulent disease. (I got a sneak but exhausting preview on the basis of strict anonymity. Not sure who should stay anonymous, but I guess it’s the author.) On page 678 he concludes:

  • Envy is obtrusive, it goes back to Eden. Check Genesis 1–3.
  • The best ( and only) three-step therapy is: 1. admit it, 2. look at yourself in the mirror — if you have a greenish complexion*, you are certain to be in a state of envy -, 3. laugh about yourself till your color is back to normal (you might get a bit red after a period of orangevity**), go back to step 1.

You see, Ingrid, you only have to go through steps 2 and 3.

We can now really understand the mystery of the color of the head of Das Drumphus. The man is in a permanent state of anger (at everybody but himself, i.e. red face) and envy (at all the other elitist richies, i.e. green face). QED! Red+Green=orange. He will get back to normal (i.e. red face) when he is the richest of all. Somewhere in Medium I found the perfect analysis of his project to make the Drumphasty really the richest off all. After I retrieved it, I will add the link.

*not to be applied at sea, during or after a roller coaster ride or after eating foul oysters.

**orangevity: the degree of orangeness of a human body as a consequence of being angry and envious at the same time. Measured with the T-rump index.

Friend of life and beauty and foe of spoilers of life and beauty. Golden marriage. Grandfather. Pianist and micro poet. Dutch, European.

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