Genius at work, Steve. I’ ve totally analyzed this totally thought out post and I totally couldn’t find one tiny little fault in it. I grilled the owners of the shops of my suppliers of glue and I found the best solution. They all would love to sell as much glue as possible, but they all think the ferret will die soon after applying the glue. We do not want to kill more animals than already will be killed as a result of the policies of Prez Troll, do we?
The best solution is: mount a baby swimming-cap to the ferret, after glueing the wig to the cap (Saudi Arabic gum will work well). The cap may be mounted by staples, safety pins (much safer for the ferret) or denture fixative — designed for fixing material to flexible gums, like the hide of ferret heads.