It is a pleasure to read your last posts -no pun intended- about the act of loving, Kris. Based on an eventually marital relationship of 47 years and the observation of many other successful relationships I fully agree with your definition of loving as a decision to choose for each other and permanently act to mutually invest in each other’s needs. For ROI we have to invest and act. Love is a process that never stops. We both have to earn the returns.
I am still thinking about the role and necessity of physical and intellectual attraction. That is highly personal. We have to find out how much we need them to keep investing, I think. Love is a process of discovery and learning. The moment we decide to love we take a risk. The process of discovery can reveal traits we couldn’t see in the beginning, blinded by infatuation. We shouldn’t fall in love too easily.