Thank you Sam! Very funny. As a second-witter (someone making jokes on the shoulders of witty people) I think we want to help the poor sods as good as possible? Do you mind if I add two suggestions?
Dear Conservative on the run:
1. Because you certainly hope to leave for a country that is in the realm of alternative truth too, go to Brasil , (in the real world still a beautiful country, so hurry!):
a. The present leader is a friend of your Commander-in-Chief;
b. He thinks covid-19 is a hoax, got contaminated and recovered;
c. He prefers capitalism over health too;
d. He prefers nepotism over democracy too and is corrupt in many other ways;
e. He is not a succesfull business man, just like your Commander-in-Chief;
f. He denies the climate crisis and facilitates the burning of the Amazon forest;
g. He is a racist, facilitating the killing of indigenous people;
h. He is a Christian (catholic) as far as it helps him to stay in power;
i. He is a former general and would be a 2nd-Amendeminion if he was North American by birth;
j. You can drive to Brasil over land in your Ford 950 and use your gun rack over there.
2. If you have no other alternative left but
Europe, don’t forget: all roads lead to Rome.